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8/16/2009

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3 Comments

Terry Shaw link

8/16/2009 04:47:40 am

I knew him only for a little time but I can say Ray was a kind thoughtful man.

Matt Kelleher

9/8/2009 01:02:29 am

I thought it would be nice for Ray's family and friends if I posted what I said of him at the service. It's a bit long, but here you go...

I’m Matt, Ray’s younger brother. I am humbled to speak here and fearful that I don’t have the oratory skills to do justice to someone so eloquent in both written and spoken word as Ray; fearful that my words could never express the depth of my love and respect as well as my profound sadness over the loss of my big brother.
I’m a forty-seven year older physician and father of four, yet I always have and still refer to Ray as my “big brother”. Interestingly, I have five other brothers, four of whom are older, yet the only one I refer to as “older” is Ray. I think this is because in so many ways Ray was the best of us. Ray had traits and qualities that all of us admire and deep down know could never really attain: his intense intellect, his sarcasm, his spiritual hunger, his kindness and charity, his commitment to what was good and honest, his prejudice toward none and his love of all. What I personally admire most was his commitment to what his heart told him was morally right regardless of where that put him socially, politically, or with his family.
Ray made all of us better. He made our family better. When Ray was around we tried to be a little smart, a littler wittier, and a little cooler. More importantly, I always felt that in his presence there was more love around the table, more kindness in the room, less cutting sarcasm, more empathy. We listen better, interrupt less, and care more. He was always the one to hug you hardest and longest and look you in the eye and say I love you without a hint of self-consciousness, but rather with overwhelming honesty. Ray always made us better.
In his first inaugural address, with the country at the brink of civil war, President Lincoln concluded by appealing to “the better angels of our nature.” In my life, Ray always brought out those better angels of my nature.
One of the greatest gifts in life is good health. A main recurring them of Ray’s life was his relative deficiency in this regard. From his battles with cancer as a teenager to lupus as an adult, to the cardiac problem that ultimately led to his demise, Ray always courageously struggled against these challenges. But, in spite of being so poor in God’s greatest gift, he seemed to compensate by building a life so rich in other ways. Ray’s life was overflowing with humor, wit, intellectual curiosity, literature, music, food, home, family, friends, and work. He had a rich abundance of love he both gave and received from Shannon, Cathy Jordan, his parents, siblings, stepchildren, nieces, nephews, godchildren, and friends.
When I compare my life to Ray’s, I realize that in contrast to Ray I have essentially never had a single day of poor health. I have strength, fitness, and physical vitality that Ray never remotely knew. I have material wealth many fold greater than he. But when I reflect on my life and compare it to Ray’s, his life in so many ways feels much richer than mine.
Ray’s is a life lived extremely well. It is a life to be revered and respected; to be admired and emulated; to be examined and learned from. It is a life to be proud of. It is a life to be celebrated. It is a life to be remembered.
Ultimately, I think of Ray’s life as a spiritual journey. Ray started life as a Catholic, not by volition but by indoctrination, as we all do. As Ray suffered through cancer as a teenager, his faith waned and withered. Ray’s depth of heart and mind would not allow him to simply accept what had been given him. So he rejected, he questioned, and he set out on a lifelong personal journey to know God and his place in His world. What came of this journey was a true and genuine relationship with Christ; a faith he truly owned, earned, and was uniquely his. It’s the type of faith few can attain or comprehend. Ray knocked down the temple of faith given to him at birth and rebuilt it- brick by brick- four score stronger than that with which he started. A faith so strong that it allowed him to make peace with the ghost that had haunted him since a child when he lost his closest companions, his brother and sister, to disease. The ghost that threatened his mortality from a teenager on. Ray’s faith allowed him to not only make peace with death but also to use it as a an instrument of God’s great work. It gave him the strength to help guide Cathy Jordan to a dignified, compassionate, and peaceful death. He at last found his life’s work as God’s vehicle to navigate the dying, and their families, home to their final peace and comfort.
I personally have been taken aback by the depth of sadness and pain I have felt in losing Ray. But I do realize that my grief is a selfish one, ultimately abou

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2/23/2012 08:18:25 pm

This is some what a great post and innovative too. I am immensely pleasured with the auspicious article.

Ray Kelleher

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