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8/1/2009

30 Comments

Reed, Caleb, Ray, Shannon, Molly, David John - Christmas 2007

If you would like to contact Shannon, please email her at [email protected].

30 Comments

Shannon Deighan

8/2/2009 02:16:42 am

The family thanks everyone who visited Ray in the hospital, nursing home and at home during the last 4 months of Ray's life. It is clear how much love Ray was bathed in His death was unexpectedly quick and at the end, peaceful and conscious. Ray was a true renaissance man and I am deeply honored to have been able to share the last 12 years of my life with him. --Shannon Deighan

Debbie MacDonald

8/6/2009 07:37:25 am

I had the honor and the privilege of working closely with Ray for four or five years, and of being his friend for nine. He was an incredibly gifted chaplain, and a wonderful friend. The last four months have been extremely hard - for him - and for those who loved him. I am glad that he is at peace, but I will miss him terribly. My heart goes out to Shannon, and to his family and friends, because it will be hard for all of us to learn how to live in a world without Ray in it.

Carol Rainwood

8/11/2009 06:00:40 am

My heart aches for Shannon and for Ray's family. I didn't know Ray very well, but I know he was a shining light to those in his life.
Wishing you all Peace, and the joy of a life well lived and well loved!

Caleb Saunders

8/16/2009 04:39:48 am

Ray, you will be deeply missed. Having met you in my 20's, I learned a great deal from our friendship that developed over the years. You were passionate, resourceful, creative, determined, a strong presence and a lover of life. Your unique perspective in life and strong personality were an inspiration to both me and Reed. I am honored to have had you in my life.

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8/16/2009 04:40:49 am

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Tracey Merrill

8/16/2009 05:20:44 pm

I worked with Ray for almost 4 years in Hospice. I remember the first day in my new job, and Ray gave the opening to a meeting. His opening was a poem, followed by prayer. It touched my very soul, the words he spoke, and I thought to myself, "I must meet this man, and become a friend with him!" The next day I was told we'd be on the same team, and I was delighted.

Our friendship grew through the years, as we shared many bedside vigils over our patients, had heart to heart talks over the meaning of life and death, and shared the loves we both had in our families.

Ray was truly one of my best friends. He was honest and would tell me when I was wrong, and praise me when I was right. I could be myself around him and he just accepted me, regardless of the mood I came to work in. My family all knew Ray through the stories I'd share at the dinner table, of things he'd taught me, or patients we'd made a difference with. They are also in shock over his death, and have openly shared my grief at this great loss in my life.

I know Ray didn't want to live unless he could live well. And he did live well. He taught so many, helped so many, and was a true friend to many.
I will miss him the rest of my life.

Patrick Paulich

8/17/2009 04:15:50 am

I was a friend of Ray's in high school and at Evergreen. I lost track of him when I transfered to the UW in 1974 but I always had very fond memories of him. I tried to locate him on the internet about a year ago without success. I happend to stumble upon his obituary in the Sunday Seattle Times. I am glad - but not at all surprised - that Ray turned out to be a terrific guy who obviously had a positive influence on a lot of lives. He was a strong, creative person when I knew him and it sounds like that never changed. I'm very sorry I never re-connected with him. He was a very good guy. RIP.

Maggie Partlow

8/23/2009 09:49:05 am

Ray's death came as a shock to me; he's 6 months younger -- and, like Kathy, went too young and too suddenly. We didn't keep in touch over the years (my loss), so I didn't even realize he was ill.

I first met Ray about 18 years ago when I joined the board of Olympia Child Care Center (now Olympia Early Learning Center), where Kathy Jordan was Executive Director. I remember her beaming about the wonderful job he did remodeling their kitchen, and what a fabulous woodworker he was. In my memory, he was a strong but quiet presence; a spiritual & old soul. It was also my impression that he never committed to anything carelessly or half-way; I'll never forget his devoted and tender-loving care of Kathy to the very end. He never wavered. I'm certain he brought that same devotion to his next family. Ray left a gentle but lasting footprint on this earth. Something we should all strive to achieve.

Tom Maddox

8/25/2009 10:24:18 am

I first met Ray when he was a very young man at Evergreen. We became friends, and as I came and went from Olympia over the next 35 years or so, we maintained and deepened our friendship.

I watched him mature into a genuinely good and deep human being, a rare combination of skepticism, great humor, spirituality, and grace.

In my own times of trouble, he extended himself in remarkable, revealing himself in the process as a rare and good friend.

He told me more than once that he had found his life's vocation as a hospice chaplain, and I have no doubt that his death is a grievous loss to those he worked for and with.

My wife and I returned to Olympia just recently and saw him a few days before he died. We are both grateful for the small act of chance or grace that allowed this to happen.

Like everyone who knew him well, we grieve deeply for him and for Shannon's loss. We miss him enormously and will remember him with deep affection so long as we have memory. He was a rare, valuable human being on the planet.

Joyce Black

8/26/2009 12:51:16 am

It was an honor to have known Ray and we send our heartfelt regret to his wonderful wife Shannon. Ray's gift of storytelling to make a point, his beautiful writing that made you look beyond the fringe, and his ability to make the best corn on the barbie leaves a great void in all of our lives. The Italy trip becomes even more important and forms a chain that cannot be broken. We miss you.

Ross Day

8/30/2009 02:49:28 am

Ross Day

8/30/2009 03:05:11 am

I met Ray in 1992 when he wrote a review of a show of studio furniture in the Seattle Times. He was very complimentary about a piece I had in the show, and I had a couple subsequent phone conversations with him. He informed me that his wife had recently died and he was giving up writing for awhile to go to stay at the Christ in the Desert monestary in New Mexico for a period of reflection. I have not spoken to him since, though I have thought about him from time to time and wondered what he might be doing.

In reading his obituary I was very pleasently satisfied to hear that he followed his path to divinity and had become a chaplain. He had always impressed me as a very caring, sensitive, and searching person; one who had the gift of seeing beyond the surface issues in life. Also not to mention the fact he was a very intellegent and thoughtful writer.

I will miss him very much. You had a great life Ray.

Ross Day

April Meier

8/31/2009 07:21:13 am

Our family was blessed to have Ray as our Hospice chaplain during my sister's illness. His beautiful soul left an imprint on each of us and we never forgot him. Once I asked Ray how he could cope with being surrounded by so much suffering, and he responded sincerely that he had the best job in the whole world. He somehow was able to see through the pain and treasure each individual that he served. As a bearer of God's peace, Ray's presence brought great comfort to us all. He was a true inspiration and a wonderful man.

Charlotte Lowery

9/2/2009 02:24:49 am

I have been agonizing as to what I could say about Ray that would truly be able to describe what he meant to me. I worked with Ray at Hospice for 4 years. Over that time he helped me to see that I didn't have to have the "right" answers, that my presence and being me helped the families we served. This was a huge revelation to me as my job with Hospice was my first real job as a social worker. Ray encouraged my creativity- my quilting, crafts, beading, and singing- although I felt my talents paled in comparison to his. Ray also could help me find the humor even in the most stressful situations...I will greatly miss his sarcasm.

Ray could make you feel like you were the only person in the world in the moment when you were talking to him. He had the ability to be that present with each person. This gift was a part of what made a conversation with Ray stand out above all others.

There is a void in my life and in our Hospice team now that Ray is gone. I know that I was blessed to have had the experience of working with him and being his friend.

Harvey Bell

9/10/2009 06:58:42 am

Ray's wit will be missed. He could light up my imagination with a witty comment or wry observation of life. He was a smart guy who had a fierce spirituality which made him a man of faith and conviction.

I miss you, Ray. Rest in Peace.

Joanne Nichols

4/29/2010 10:08:20 pm

I admit, I just heard about Ray's death about a month ago. I am very sorry I was not able to go to his memorial service. Ray helped me many times throughout my life since I was in high school. He taught me gently to how to increase my strength. I miss him greatly. I love him dearly. I thank him so much. I am sending Shannon and the rest of Ray's family thoughts and prayers as it nears the one year anniversary of his death.

Chuck Singer link

8/4/2011 07:17:07 am

Hello,

I am one of Ray's cousins and was very close to him in grade school, all the way till the time his family moved to Seattle.

We both shared a love of guitars. He had,(as his Dad and Grandmother worked for Sears), a guitar whose case contained an amplifier. It's a quite collectible item for players who started in that era. However, he got his start on an old guitar that I had and my mother gave to him (I assume).

At some wedding or something, years ago, we reconnected and played guitar together and played pretty well as I recall till some aunt said, "Do you know anything happy?" LOL. So much for that.

I have fond memories of Raymond and wish we could have reconnected. You were all lucky to have had the time with him you did.

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